Mehonieuws : This is your captain (V1) speaking
Weledelgestrenge Zwienkerkenaars, beste Zwientjes, shanovni Ukrayintsi (beste Oekraïners), beste Mehonians, beste al de rest,
Met al die Mehoni overwinningen in de laatste maanden, zou ons clubje al eens heel snel beroemd kunnen worden tot ver buiten de gemeentegrenzen. Dan wordt onze Voorzitter (V1), die toch zowat de kapitein van Mehoni is, niet alleen meer opgebeld door De Streekkrant, De Krant van West-Vlaanderen en Het Parochieblad voor interviews over het reilen en zeilen bij onze club, neen, dan bellen ook de serieuze gazetten. Neem nu onlangs : onze V1 werd zowaar geïnterviewd door een échte buitenlandse sportreporter !! Straf hé ? In vlekkeloos Engels, want afgestudeerd met grote onderscheiding aan de Google Tanslate University, stond onze V1 die buitenlandse reporter (‘BR’) te woord, zonder spiekbriefje of zo, nope, recht voor de raap, lees mee…:
BR : Hi, dear Mehoni President, how are you doing ? Do you have some time to talk about Mehoni ?
V1 : Hello, mister? Yes, I stand here on a cross-point in Outchurch, I am just getting a fresh nose. I am sorry that I have my big Mehoni-book not by me now, but I will pull my plan well. So yes, go your gang.
…Well, it goes good with me. You fall a bit with the door in the house with your questions, but I am happy to meat you. First and especially, I want to say you that I am monkey-proud up all our Mehoni playsters and up all our coaches and trainers, thus, I am a happy-bag to be president of Mehoni, wi. Yes, I think really that I have fallen with my nose in the butter. I am, so to say, the First Lady of Mehoni. Is it that what you must know ?
BR : Oh, I don’t know the expression “to be monkey-proud”, dear Mehoni president, but it sounds good in any case. Is it true that you can really give interviews in 3 languages ?
V1: Yes, mister, being drietalig est parmi de tofste pleasures dans le monde, and sûr dans Zwienkerke, that is un petit village right in the midden between Bruges and White Mountains, you know where that lays ? Know you that we hier in Zwienkerke parlons not 3, but même 4 languages ? We can speak aussi in flowing West-Flemisch. Not to do hé, mister ? You moet echt une fois komen kieken. Was you al in Zwienkerke ? The Zwientjes are very guestfree people wi. Mais, not under-estimaten hé mister, speaking en liser in trois verschillende talen, that gives mijn brain toujours een ferm gymnastiekske wi. Sometimes, mijn hersenen veulent même exploser, when I moet switchen van één language to another. But, it’s très bien pour les mains hé, to speak all these languages. Allé, comment say you dadde in het Inglish, ‘handig’, gelijk we say that ?
BR : Waw, that’s amazing, Mrs. Mehoni President. Unbelievable, speaking four languages !!! But let’s continue in Englisch, that is the only language I understand. How is it now with the M&M team ? How are they doing on the field ?
V1 : You speak alone Inglish ??…But gow say, I have really compassion with you, Know you, mister, that the M&M, will say ‘the Mehoni Madames’ ? That is our Ladies team, wist you dadde ? Awel, the M&M, they are very good busy wi, all 10 times gewonnen !! They have also won against MiddleChurch, Torwood and EastEnd, that is not to believe hé !! But, unfortunately pindabutter, they loose sometimes also, but there’s nothing on the hand wi, no worries. Wist you that all the Mehoni teams have allready 46 times won, they are underway to 50 winnings é, it’s almost in the handbag, I feel it at my water. You must come looking to an M&M match é mister, really. There is toch no ball on the TV, you can better come to look at the M&M, they play on the New Stoneway, in Swinechurch Lowschool.
And, mister, wist you that it is not easy, playing volleyball in Forthe Provencaalse C, but, the Mehoni playsters alltime give there a lap up, also when it’s difficult. I must say you that. Will you write that up in your article, please mister? Thank you for your with-working.
BR : Do you think that Mehoni could even win against Roeselare, the best of all volleyball teams ? Is that possible, you think ?
V1 : Winning against Roeselare ? Mo gow, make that the cat wise, young ! It looks me strong, but yes, you know never hé mister, because our playsters have a lot of hair on their teeth, you know. And, if our coach also makes his chest wet… maybe it’s possible, who knows !?
BR : I hear that the atmosphere in the Mehoni team is also good ? What’s the secret behind it ?
V1 : Yes, the atmosphere by Mehoni, that sits well moustache , you can say that. Awel é, mister, after the match, all the M&M team comes together in the canteen. Then, we give them butterhams, with cheese, or with hespe, from the Colruyt. Our Nelle buys that toespieze. It’s logical é, after the match, the playsters must eat, or they would fall off their little stick. The M&M then eat the butterhams up, and they talk about little cows and little calves. Sometimes, they can even not hold their waffles anymore, so much talking that they do ! You have that alltime with womens hé. I talk too much too, says Filip, allé, dadde is my man é. Anyway, that talking is alltime good for the groupghost of the team. Sometimes, our playsters go do other things together, like bowling. That’s also good for the groupghost é. And in the Summer, the Mehoni playsters do beachvolley, on the beach é. But yes, they can not alltime do that, because the weather here is very bad. Wist you that it here can rain pipe-steels sometimes ? Then, you are wet tot up your underwear é, pisswet, like we say in our dialect.
BR : With all these good results and victories in this season, the Mehoni team must have a very good coach ? And you and the coach do everything alone for Mehoni ? That’s amazing !!
V1 : Ha, ha,…just me and the coach alone ? You got a slap from the windmill I think, mister. Sure, there is the coach, TC-One. Our Geert, you will say ? Yes mister, Geert is a coach in heart and kidneys é, a rock in the burning, like we say here. Mehoni can alltime calculate on him. He is sometimes a bit angry when the playsters send their cat to the training, but that is normal é. He may not see that through the fingers. But say, mister, all our coaches are very good é. Will you write that up also ?
But you must know that I don’t do everything alone hé, come’on say ! It is alltime very busy by Mehoni, alltime forward with the goat é. Yes, the days fly foreby, really. But wist you that we have a Mehoni government, allé, our ‘bestuur’, like say we. …And that Mehoni government, that’s another pair of sleeves wi ! Sometimes, they would let everything run in the soup ! Then it is good that there is a V1, all say I that self. I alltime keep an little eye in the sail, that is my roll hé, as V1. You must know, mister, I don’t want to be a Mehoni clean-mother, but the president must a bit delegaten hé.
Chance that Mehoni also has good supporters. You must well know that they make much noise ! Really not to do ! Have you all heard Free Willy shouting ? That is me the one wi, our Willy !! And our T2, she can also mega-loud shouten !!! Really, mister, you scare you an accident !!I
Yes, juste, I was it almost forgotten, Mehoni has also a reporter, a reporter-from-the- Aldi, say we in the Mehoni Government, because he is a complete soup-chicken, so crazy as a backdoor !! I have still a little egg to peel with him because he alltime laughs with my Inglish. Gow say, my Inglish is toch good ? What think you about it…?
BR : …euh…time is up…still one final question, dear Mehoni president : is there something you want to add?
V1 : Hm, a momentje, I was just aan’t thinking… Ach yes ! Our playsters shout alltime : “We Give Us Not !”. That is also good for the groupghost and it will say that they alltime see it sitting, that must so é, also when they are losing. They never think about upgiving. That is cool é, from our M&M ? Awel, mister, for one time, to give courage to all the people in The Ukraine, I want to shout our team slogan also in’t Ukrainian, but I hope that my tongue turns not in the button wi, allé there he comes : We geven ons niet !! We Give Us Not !! My Ne Zdayemosya !! Ми не здаємося!!